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What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. - Agnes M. Pharo
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c-success
December 2009
greetings & welcome to december's edition of c-success Thank you %%First Name%% for inviting us into your inbox.
Christmas is coming much more quickly than you've bargained for. You're running out of time. Take a deep breath and read on.
It is often said that Christmas is a time for children; this may or may not be the case but certainly many of our expectations about this time of year are set in place when we are young. As adults, we often subconsciously want Christmas to evoke the magical innocence of childhood and hope that this year will be the best ever Christmas. Too often it doesn't turn out that way. Far from being the happiest time of our lives it is often a time of great pressure and tension.
For a species that is defined as 'communal', we struggle to cope with each other for any length of time. Christmas often highlights this with meeting old acquaintances for an annual get-together, far-flung famly arriving for a vacation and expecting to be entertained, not to mention in-laws, office parties and other seasonal traps. The office function 'fling' can end in tears and you can't put the cork back into the bottle once you let slip an indiscreet opinion to a friend or colleague.
The skill needed in dealing with these 'people situations' is to remain calm and controlled, to accept that the opinions and attitudes of others may not be in line with our own and that the normal standards of behaviour and relationships still apply.
Christmas is a time when conflict tends to arise. There's a reason most Christmas movies are all about dysfunctional family get-togethers!. Here are some thoughts.
connectingChristmas is a wonderful time to connect, maybe reconnect, with others. Those you're close with, and those you haven't spoken with in a while.
When you are spending time with someone, share with them what it is about them, your relationship with them, that you are most thankful for. Talk about a great way to create connection!
being thankfulInstead of thinking about the endless list of things you must accopmplish before December 24, think of your favourite part of Christmas - the one or two things that make Christmas unique and meaningful to you. I'm not talking about the mushy answers of family or being together, but the actual tasks you do that make it Christmas in your eyes. Is it selecting a Christmas tree and decorating it? Maybe you love baking from basics (even if it is only once a year). Writing a detailed Chrsitmas card to your family and friends might help define Christmas for you.
Instead of attempting to take on the world with Christmas chores, choose one or two meaningful things and do them well. Savour the project and remember what it is you enjoy about it so much. Doing a few things well means more than only partly finishing an endless list of less important chores.
relationshipsThe key to minimising hassles and maximising the positive times is communication. Communication between all concerned about expectations.
Christmas is often a time when old resentments and new tensions tend to flare up. Recently I found myself in a position where I had some issues I wanted to resolve. And I realised that the last time I had a similar conversation with the same person it was around the same time of year. Once I realised that there was a pattern, that this was just something, though painful and disconcerting, that needed to happen every once in a while, it some how made it easier to swallow.
Relationships are ongoing and conversations help us maintain these relationships. Especially with family members, there are going to be issues that are reoccurring and ongoing. That's natural. And once we understand that from time-to-time we may need to revisit and readjust our course, it's a lot easier to have the conversations that need to take place. Remind your partner, significant other, family member, friend that your're talking with them out of love and respect. And that you want to keep your relationship with them clean and current.
what don't you know?
How about making it a point to learn something new about someone? Curiosity is a beautiful way of showing someone how much you care about them and to gain new appreciation for them. After all, hopefully we are all evolving. Unfortunately, we forget that and lose our curiosity - which can lead to complacency, boredom, drifting apart.
So what is it you want to know? Is there something your partner is passionate about that you know very little about? What are their goals and how can you help them achieve them? What is their definition of success? What questions could you ask to give you insight?
You can make an activity out of it. Write down a list of provocative questions. Have people randomly select a question to ask someone at the Christmas table. You could have a terrific time discovering some fascinating facts about people you think you already know everything about!
a personal side Kaye with her putting squad mates.
Kaye, along with her husband Jim, hosted a pre-Christmas putting comp on their new(ish) putting green. Seventeen friends enjoyed a fun but serious putting championship over drinks and lots of 'yummy' food.
Unfortunately, Kaye and her putting squad mates were not the winners of the putting comp. But from a very biased perspective, they had the most fun.
merry christmas & happy new year Kaye and coaching4success wishes you the warmest thoughts and best wishes for a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year. May peace, love and prosperity follow you always. Believe in Santa Claus, teddy bears and friends and a magical enjoyment that never ends!
You know, a hug is a perfect Christmas gift - one size fits all.
Christmas Cheer Receipe:
combine loads of good wishes, heartfuls of love and armfuls of hugs.
sprinkle with laughter and
garnish with mistletoe
top off with presents
serves everyone
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