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Copyright© coaching4success pty ltd, all rights reserved 2009.Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute c-success as long as this copyright notice and our website address is attached. Contributions and comments are welcomed and can be sent to:kaye@coaching4success.com.au PO Box 1338 Coorparoo Q4151 AUSTRALIA telephone: +61 7 3392 0515
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c-success
October 2009
Greetings & Welcome to October's Edition of C-Success
Thank you for inviting us into your inbox.
In this issue of c-success we will look at difficult conversations around self-marketing. These conversations could involve anything from seeing more clients to asking for a pay rise. c-success will look at what's keeping you from attracting what you want. unleash your potentialcoaching4success specialty area is ‘making the difficult conversation easy’. A difficult conversation is an interchange with another person that makes you feel tense, edgy, nervous, angry, irritated, irked, humiliated, sad or otherwise uncomfortable before, during or after it occurs.In the last edition, we put the spot light on hygiene issues. In this issue we will focus on'fear of rejection' and its impact on getting what you want. Here are examples of a few of the things I've heard:
"I don't want to come off as pushy"
"Nobody is interested in hearing about my ..."
"If I ask for referrals it will feel like I'm begging"
"No one will read what I write, so why bother?"
When questioned further, people admit that what's under all of these statements is fear - fear of rejection. Not only are they afraid of rejection; they believe that marketing themselves will lead to rejection. Talk about being caught in a bind! One of the greatest needs of human beings is to be accepted and to belong. When we are rejected, it can be very painful. When it comes to marketing ourselves and people are not interested in what we're offering, we feel rejected. marketing ineffectiveness is almost always tied to 'fear of rejection'The distress and frustration of rejection and lack of success with marketing ourselves weighs so heavily that it no longer makes sense to press on. Are there ways to overcome this fear of rejection and succeed with marketing yourself?
coaching4success suggests two effective approaches to overcoming the fear of rejection. They work especially well if used in tandem. They are:
1. marketing conversations and
2. changing the story Marketing Conversations
Here are 3 key skills you can apply to marketing yourself:
Tlling: using the language of solutions and outcomes. For example: "A client came to me with an aim he's been working toward for two years with little forward movement. He wanted to put on a fund raising event but he kept getting stuck. We worked together for a few months and not only did he put on the event with great success, he raised over $30,000 for his favourite charity".
Listening: stop talking, ask questions and listen. For example: "that sounds great, how does that work?"
Asking: ask for permission to send or give some information. For example: "I have an article I wrote called, 'How to Increase Your Outcomes in Half the Time.' Can I send you a copy?" Asking means taking the initiative to further the conversation.
The Story
Rejection is nothing more than a story you tell yourself. Someone fails to show interest in you and you make up a story called 'rejection'. And when you identify with this story of rejection you end up feeling bad about yourself and then start to withdraw. What if you told yourself a different story? If after every so-called rejection, you do a reality check on what actually happened, it's easier to tell a story other than a rejection story. The truth is, there are hundreds of reasons for someone not being interested in what you have to offer. It's just the way it is.When you think of it this way, many new options open up.Fear of rejection is the stance of a victim. Somebody is doing it to you and you can't help but feel bad. Get over yourself!What if you took some responsibility and learned some effective marketing communication skills instead? There is absolutley no reason why you can't. coaching4success can assist you with difficult conversations that involve 'fear of rejection' to a more positive frame - marketing conversations and changing the story. Contact our lead Coach Kaye Blackburn at coaching4success on +61 7 3392 0515
Referrals
Like most service businesses, coaching4success is a referrals based business. If you can think of anyone who might like to read c-successon a bi-monthly basis, please e-mail coaching4success and let us know.
A Personal Side - Golfing Weekend Away
Kaye has been working at improving her golf handicap and now has a handicap of 32. Not bad, considering she started at 45 in March this year when she joined Brisbane Golf Club. She has been working with a Coach. Not a Corporate Coach like herself, but a Professional Golf Coach - Murray Lott. Your can read more about Murray here. Pictured below are a few shots of Kaye at a recent golfing weekend away at Ocean Shores NSW with the Social Golf Club of the Queensland Cricketer Club.
coaching4success transforming potential into successexperience it!
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